In fact, I’m furious. I feel cheated and exploited. Wouldn’t you, if someone were casually offered something you wanted and had worked hard to get?
It’s my fault, deep down. I should have been selfish, when I was given the chance. Then I would have been the one promoted – twice! – not the one who neither wants nor needs it.
On one hand, I want to yell at those responsible to go fuck themselves, and on the other hand I loathe myself, because, after being denied twice, I still want it.
You Are Aggressive
Your anger and cynicism have morphed into something more extreme: aggression.
You find it easy to be annoyed, and it’s almost as easy for you to lose your temper.
While it does feel good to get out a little low level anger now and then, aggression can be dangerous.
If you can’t control your temper, you could end up hurting yourself or someone else. Be careful!
I’m not exactly sure how it started. I do know that I’ve spent most of the weekend there, looking up books mentioned in my old groups and adding them to my library. I have just under 300 books there now, and wish for an eReader more than ever. The ‘limited preview’ is not much limited, and even missing a few pages of a book is better than not reading it at all.
To seal the deal, I’ve discovered a goodly cache of Yoga Journal back issues, from October 1997 to December 2008, those complete, down to the ad pages. So I can read not only the issues I missed during the years I was buying it, not only those I left back home in Athens, but also some seven years’ worth of issues from before I had discovered it. And all for free.
Excuse me while I go look up some more before bed…
That’s Waldo and Karolina, up there, and listening to the complete Eurovision album, which, I remind you, was one of my Christmas gifts, I marvel once again at how jinxed Finland still is, sending such wonderful songs and finishing in the tail of the contest. Language is no excuse now, so…
I’ve just realised I haven’t blogged about reading material in a very long time. Perhaps that says something about the concentration behind my reading, if not the bulk of material (I have almost 30 books under my belt for this year’s 50 Challenge on Shelfari).
Labyrinth was the one book I took with me on the trip to Athens, just for the times when I wouldn’t be able to read on the computer. I have a brand new and unread copy somewhere among the books I left back in Athens, but when I found it in a charity shop for 30p, I couldn’t resist. If anything, I wouldn’t worry about losing it somewhere. I finished it on New Year’s Eve, and a very good close to the literary year it was too.
The motto, so to speak (‘Three secrets. Two women. One Grail.’), places the story squarely among the slew of pseudo-historical, pseudo-metaphysical scribbles, in the tradition of Dan Brown, that litter bookstores in recent years, offering fodder to the conspiracy theorists who see hidden ancient lore everywhere. The difference is, this is more interesting. Women protagonists, meticulously researched history – the storyline’s background is the Albigensian Crusade, from the siege of Carcassonne in 1209 to the fall of Montségur in 1244 – and a convincing theory about the Grail. No spoilers here, except for this: It’s not the Holy Grail. Hint, hint.
It’s a fat book, just as I like them, and I enjoyed the flow of the story, although I kept getting impatient through the modern bits and wanting to go on with the historical ones already, up until the missing link (literally!) turned up and the two began to come together. There are a couple of slips, but the only egregious one is a mention of the feast of the Transfiguration of the Virgin on 6 August, while there’s no such thing – it’s the Transfiguration of the Lord. Plus, it has injected me with a curiosity to go down there in the Midi and see the places for myself, particularly Carcassonne, and with an itch to research the Occitan language, which is liberally sprinkled over the story. Here goes the linguist geek again. Pas a pas, se va luènh.
Very appropriate. Not so much for the scarlet woman up there, gorgeous as she is, but because alternating between cooped in with the whole family while the snow is swirling outside and struggling to get to town in such weather (pushing the buggy through undisturbed snow? BAD idea) are making me really see red. Literally.
You Are Red
You are a passionate, outgoing, and intense person. You are naturally joyful.
However, you tend to be quite intense, and your temper is easy to spark.
You are confident and a real go-getter. You don’t fear or expect failure.
You are a very lucky person. You are destined to be prosperous – if you aren’t already.
This must be the most random musical choice I’ve made here yet. It’s the best track from Wolfsheim’s album Dreaming Apes, which was given to me by someone I went on an almost-blind date with, about eight years ago. I’d given him the Succubus Club compilation; a gothic/EBM collection that supplemented Vampire: the Masquerade. I hope it stuck with him. Anyway, why did this pop up and demand to be posted? No idea.
In fact, I’m furious. I feel cheated and exploited. Wouldn’t you, if someone were casually offered something you wanted and had worked hard to get?
