That Fickle Muse

NaNoWriMo is officially over. I hit 50K words earlier today, but I'm taking the last couple of days to push on to the end of my story, which is in sight.

NaNoWriMo Day 3

My muse has been incredibly accommodating this year. It's the first time, after one failure and three wins, that I've been consistently ahead of schedule and never had to pull a desperate 5K day towards the end.

But then my muse is happy when he has work. When I write, he rides me harder than any mundane influence, lover or employer, ever has. When I'm not, he puts on his best urbane-looking Victorian Hellfire club face and never tires in his attempts to seduce me into following him. (He has some pretty creative punishments up his sleeve if I resist too long, as well… but that's another story for another day.)

Not to say that my muse doesn't have his blind spots as well. He's not good with plot, at least original plot seeds, while he's brilliant with characters and settings. All my plots are, at least in the beginning, hopelessly, or rather shamelessly, derivative: I pick a story I've read and redo it. Thing is, though, most of my fiction is collaborative, and the other person's input is invaluable in making our story veer far from the canon. So far, in fact, that sometimes we lose track of the original altogether.

Most of what I know about the craft of writing comes from Marion Zimmer Bradley and the liberal pearls of wisdom she included in the anthologies she edited. It's all in the characters for me. I don't do fanfiction, though I may slip a canon character as an NPC here and there, if the setting warrants it. Starting with real people, things are bound to happen, and sometimes working in an established but unfamiliar universe can be dizzyingly inspirational. A writing partner introduced me to the world of A Song of Ice and Fire, months before I got to start reading the series; one of the challenges I relished most was crafting a Darkover story with another partner who had never read Darkover. Right now I'm negotiating a story that will explore what Beatrice Rappaccini might have grown into, and I'm fairly giddy with stampeding ideas.

It might be my speculative bent, but I don't tend to find sparks of inspiration in real life around me; not in events or people I experience, though some nature can get me into just the right mood to be receptive. It's inspired art that inspires me in turn – particularly words and music. I've lost count of how many times a song title has sprung up and demanded to be a story title as well.

Unlike other years, when I end NaNoWriMo with a desperate need to decompress by writing nothing for weeks, now I'm ready to dive back into my stories and reward my co-writers' patience. If that's not creative inspiration, I wouldn't know what is.

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Daily Haunts

The internet is my home as much as the brick-and-mortar construct is, and the time I spend in either proves the fact. So here are the places where you're most likely to bump into me (without creeping me out and making me cry stalker, that is).

Funny Picture of Nun Religion

1. Elliquiy (http://elliquiy.com/forums/). If sites were places where we could actually live, upload our consciousness or whatever, that would be my home. An adult roleplaying site and wonderful community, which has been my largest gathering of friends, information and support network, and purveyor of creative fun times for over three years. I wouldn't get hung up on the 'adult' part of it all, if I were you; I get my kicks out of writing elaborate storylines which happen to include adult themes, not mindless smut. There are also countless books I wouldn't have read, movies I wouldn't have watched, sites I wouldn't have visited, without recommendations from there. I've raked up over a year's worth of online time there, and I'm not leaving any time soon.

2. World Enough and Time (http://worldenoughandtime.net/forums/). The 'little sister' of Elliquiy. Smaller, quieter, more literary. It was created by a magnificent, inspirational woman who, sadly, passed away about half a year later. Me and a handful of others are doing our best to keep the place alive in her memory. RIP, Nightbird.

3. WordPress (http://.wordpress.com/). I've been blogging since 2006, first on Yahoo360, then on LiveJournal, Multiply, Blogger, and finally WordPress. Blogging, as a form of writing, is a compulsion – I've posted a few thousand entries, both composed by myself and reproducing material by others that I find inspiring. I'd find it extremely hard to live without a platform to put thought into words, as longhand doesn't quite do the trick for me. Especially during the month of November, with its big writing projects.

4. Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/). Yes, it's an open resource that anyone can edit, and therefore as open to spreading misinformation as can be. On the other hand, there's a staggering amount of information there, not to mention endless links to more credible resources. A wikisearch is always my first step in any kind of research. If anything, it allows me to get my terminology right; as a non-native English speaker, I can be wildly off the mark when I try to translate something I know in Greek, but even the most approximative initial search has led me to what I really wanted to know, in very few steps.

5. Last.fm (http://last.fm/). On top of all sorts of radio stations by user or genre, it allows me to create my own radio station, mixing actual preferences and suggestions and synchronising my Winamp with my music library, so that everything I listen to, online or offline, is logged and added for never-ending refinement. What more could I ask for, especially when I want to stream music I enjoy for hours without having to choose albums all the time or when I can't use the external drive where I store my mp3s?

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TGIE

That's 'Thank God it's evening', for the acronymically challenged.

Relax.

I may be years out of work and even more years out of school, but don't think for a moment that a full time wife and mother like myself doesn't have a cutoff time at the end of the day. If I were on call 24/7, I'd have gone raving mad by now. (Between you and me, I am on call 24/7, but there's just enough downtime to stop me chewing furniture. On most days, at least.)

My work day is officially over once I tuck my son into bed, around 8. After that, I have about three hours to do what I enjoy. Sometimes I may get a couple more hours, but not often. My boy is an early riser every day, and sitting up till the wee hours, no matter how I enjoy it, is a bad idea if it means I will end up sleep-deprived.

The first thing I do once I turn off the nursery light is go over to the master bedroom, plop down on the bed and read for a half-hour or so. That gives the little one time to fall into deep sleep, so he won't be disturbed by comings and goings later. That slot is my only guaranteed reading time in the day, so I take full advantage of it.

Then comes shower time. I'm not a morning shower person, as I catch cold easily; on the other hand, an evening shower is the perfect way to unwind after a working day longer than any professional's. I'm not into baths; I get fidgety if I stay still for long. High pressure water and a good scrub is what I need to renew myself.

After showering, it's time for another, shorter bout of reading in bed before dressing. Although the feeling of just lying there letting my skin breathe and dry thoroughly is relaxing enough that I have fallen asleep more than once. Most often, however, I manage to get up, dress and head downstairs to enjoy the rest of my evening with writing and socialising on my beloved forums, and perhaps a DVD or some music on the side. And if there are some nibbles and drinks to share as well, all the better.

It's not much free time (I don't know if it's less than other people's, only that it's definitely less than I'd like), but it's all the more precious for that.

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Only Boring People Get Bored

Yeahno. We don’t live in a Hollywood action movie.

I remember seeing the sentiment on a Radio Times coaster: ‘I refuse to be bored because I’m not boring.’ At the time, I agreed with it. Later, I got to thinking more on it, and I was no longer so sure.

You see, everyday life is boring. There are thrilling events for everyone, bigger and smaller ones, those that carry us away willy-nilly and those that we may miss if we’re not observant. But they are the exceptions, not the rule, and there’s plenty of downtime in between. There’s tons of opportunity to be bored at work, or doing chores at home. Boredom is a thing of the mind, and one doesn’t need to be idle in order to be bored. Go do housework, and you will know what I mean.

So it’s obvious that having a boring job doesn’t make you a boring person – only a bored person. I’m not sure how the fallacy arose, but I can imagine it being a creation of the entertainment business; a gimmick to sell more ‘exciting things to do or see’. The Radio Times occurrence certainly supports such an assumption. I shudder to think what we would be like if we were stimulated all the time. Watching kids at a birthday party and, more importantly, at home right afterwards, can give you an idea. We’d blow our fuses in no time.

There’s not much one can do for boredom on the job. I used to go for the evening shifts in the office, when all I had to worry about, from halfway into the shift onwards, was the odd phone call, and got tons of writing done in the quiet hours; during the daytime open hours, workload could fluctuate wildly, and I couldn’t get away with anything fun while I had to be on call. Household chores can be made bearable with music – there’s no reason I can’t scrub and sing or shimmy at the same time!

The internet is another matter altogether, though. One would think it’s impossible to be bored while on the net, not with the tons of places to be and things to see/watch/listen to. This is largely right, although the extent depends on what everyone likes doing on the net. I’m not really into games or streaming shows; most of my time is spent on Elliquiy and WEaT, writing and socialising, and there are definitely slow times – when the writing muse, mine or my partners’, is not cooperating, or when nobody is around to talk to. In such cases, reading is once more my rescue. I don’t like reading on-screen, though I can do it for short periods of time, but the Kindle, or any physical book or magazine lying around (and there are many of those!) can oblige.

Come to think about it, boring people, whatever their flavour, are not good with words – they don’t read, don’t write, don’t have anything to talk about. Words, going in or coming out, one’s own or others’, are always a way out of the bog.

Oh Happy Day

Eleven (just to buck the trend) things, people, and ideas that make my life worth it. The list is by no means exhaustive…

My husband
We fell in love without even realising it, at a junction in life when things couldn’t possibly look less favourable. We pulled through that, got together, built a family, and we look forward to growing old together. Things are far from easy, but that’s when one gets to appreciate the people who matter: those who support you despite everything.

My son
He’s a toddler (smack in the middle of his Terrible Twos, actually) and a handful on a good day, but for each time he gets my pulse racing he knows to counter it with a big dimpled grin, or by climbing into my lap to snuggle and watch TV, or by feeding me bits of his food, or by the cuteness overload he is when asleep, or by surprising me with a new word.

Chocolate
Is there anything in this world that doesn’t look or feel better through the lens of a good chocolate fix? The ultimate feel-good food, not even the workouts I need to keep it off my hips can make me give it up. Moderate, yes. But hell would be forbidding it me for the rest of my life. So don’t do it. This means you.

Baby animals
Even those beasts that grow up to be ugly or scary manage to be cute as babies. If we talk about fluffy kitties or frisky puppies, I challenge anyone out there not to have their spirits lifted; or a belly laugh at the very least. That’s why CuteOverload.com has been in my bookmarks for nigh on eight years.

Fashion
I don’t mean anything expensive or bleeding-edge fashionable. But there’s no resisting a pretty tone-on-tone embroidered coat or dress, or a pair of soft ballet slippers or jazz boots. Such items make me feel pretty, sexy, and distinctive at the same time. Epic win!

Crisp clear days
The best weather to walk out in. I enjoy wrapping myself warmly, but not needing to thaw out uncovered bits when I get back, and to be as certain as possible that it’s not going to rain. There are no two months better suited to long hikes than April and October.

Music
It’s what makes a long drive or walk fly by. It’s what gets me in the mood for writing, or provides inspiration. Discovering a new artist I like is like receiving a gift for no reason.

BookMooch
Books I want to read coming through the letterbox, without me having to pay a penny for them. Nicely broken in books, vibrating with the life of having been read and enjoyed. Chances to get rid of books I otherwise wouldn’t know what to do with. Thanks, Trip, for alerting me to this wonderful thing.

The Body Shop
When I was a penniless student, and later equally penniless unemployed, I used to trot over to my local branch when depression struck and go around sniffing products until my mood improved. The whirl of colour and gorgeous smells is still effective – last time I was there, I let my son have a sniff at their new orange body butter and his response was, ‘Yummy!’

Words
Whether I read them or write them, whether they’re books, blogs, roleplaying games… the sheer creativity that is creating vibrant worlds and living people out of a handful of squiggles is irresistible.

The internet
A few clicks here and there are enough for me to find information, entertainment, socialisation, everything. I don’t really know how I managed before I found it, and if I were to lose it, I’d feel bereft without my online communities.

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